When my business phone rings, I often hear the voice of a distressed female who has been begging her partner repeatedly to get professional help to save their marriage relationship. Frequently the wife or woman in the relationship even threatens her partner with divorce to persuade them to finally come to couples therapy.
Alternatively, the caller has given up trying to persuade their partner to come. That is alright too. Plenty can be achieved working with only one of the partners.
You might think, after so many years and so many hurts and disappointments, it is probably too late to rescue your relationship. But that is generally not the case.
It is important that my clients experience my compassion, confidence and competence. I focus on gaining the trust of both of my clients and let them know that we are on this daunting, but not impossible, journey together. I will be walking alongside them, supporting them all the way over bumpy, tricky and sometimes unfamiliar terrain. I encourage my clients to set their goals. It’s about achieving their aims and dreams, not mine.
Winning the trust of the male partner in heterosexual couples is not always easy. With two women in the room he could easily feel outnumbered and unsure if there is going to be a fair and equal gender playing field. Having worked in different industries and in various roles, with both men and women, I have the skills to see life from both a female and male perspective. That is very important in this work. Once the wife presents with her husband, I work hard to ensure he is just as engaged and feels just as respected and valued as his female partner. It is not unusual that many women are surprised to see their husbands opening up and being vulnerable in our sessions, for the first time in years.
Women also feel supported by me and I help them get their needs met by giving them the tools to express their wishes so they can be heard.
Couples can expect from me a genuine and down to earth approach. It is definitely not a ‘one size fits all’ approach. Every couple and partner are unique and need to feel valued and supported. For each couple or individual seeking relationships advice, different approaches and strategies are often applied.